The weekend...a time to relax, sleep in, frolic in a field of daisies, make tin foil boats and float them in the sink...wait, it has clearly been a relatively long weekend and I have forgotten what some others do on weekends. It was certainly an interesting weekend with all of the vomiting and diarrhea cleaning and sheet washing...and man-nannying...or man-maiding around the house. However, weekends like this always give a fond perspective and heartfelt sense of appreciation for stay at home moms and dads. All of this was precipitated by the fact that my two year old son Rivers decided that today was a good day to go full blown child maniac...the kind that makes Charlie Sheen say..."watch out for that kid...he's out there." He was having one of those days where he would turn off the TV, look at you and give you the look of, "There. Your move dad." And then crap his pants, eat a chocolate, wipe his hands on the couch and knock your phone off the coffee table before going into the toy room and...I can only imagine this next part...laugh maniacally. Although some of that may have been a fabrication...it seems remarkably real.
As my trip is now 4 days away...well almost three now that it is approaching the midnight hour, I realized that packing takes away much of the very few manly qualities that I currently have. The weather in France and England is typically unpredictable in that you can always predict that it will be...well unpredictable. So trying on a dozen pairs of pants and umpteen sweaters of varying thickness and material is an interesting feeling...although it could have been a moment of reflection, solitude and time to ponder how majestic my trip will be...how glorious the Mona Lisa will look and how the smell of the varnish on those masterful Renaissance era paintings will be, how breathtaking the Palace of Versailles would be and it's history and the treaty signed there, the powerful leaders that took solace in that place, the Beaches of Normandy and the brave men that sacrificed their lives to bring freedom to all and to end the tyranny and sorrow of the Holocaust, how the fish and chips will taste, how gorgeous the London sky will be atop the London Eye...I instead had to remind my son not to zip himself into the suitcase...not to get hurt while trying to break dance on the floor and being bombarded by requests from my son to put on Sesame Street upstairs and from my daughter to put on Spongebob downstairs, to plug in her Kindle Fire and to fill up her cup with more Gatorade. Luckily my lovely wife was there to help with some of the maid-esque duties required to take care of the two only members of royalty in our family...however, she didn't get home until 5...she works hard. Her pedometer always reminds me of that. Although I justify her massive number of steps beyond what I take in a day due to her shorter legs...again, that is my justification to myself.
On another note I did find some interesting information during this weekend like, there is a show on the National Geographic Channel called Diggers...it is about two guys (from Montana...and since they are the only two guys from Montana I have ever heard of I now think all Montanaians are weird) and they use their metal detectors to find glorious, "nectar" the word they use for a huge score in the ground of cash and prizes. However, I also realized that everything they find is worth like $3. So, either they were never taught what money is, or Montana has it's own currency and the conversion is like $1 = $400,000 Montana Bucks. Unless that is a fact, I don't get it. And I didn't get it through the like...12 episodes that I watched. Wait...anyway, I have never found two people more excited to unearth pennies, belt buckles, old bullets and a horse shoe. I can't wait for the next time I find a dime in the street, in my classroom or on the streets of Paris...watch out, I'll be jumping, pumping fists and dancing as if I was the third member of the band WHAM! circa 1985....or like Cousin Carlton on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air...circa 1995. Regardless, I guess what I'm saying is...well watch the show. You'll love it. I only really endorse things as often as Ron Swanson...if you didn't get that joke...watch Parks and Recreation. You will thank me.
Anyhow, I suppose it is time for bed. The morning will be here soon and it will be time to go to work and teach like it's my job. Oh, and I have an eye appointment tomorrow to get my new specs...I think with my glasses on more often, my love of cardigans and my salt and pepper hair I will look like an old Frenchmen in no time...I'll fit right in at a cafe...sitting alone...reading the paper and people watching.
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