Ahhhh...The Weekend

The weekend...a time to relax, sleep in, frolic in a field of daisies, make tin foil boats and float them in the sink...wait, it has clearly been a relatively long weekend and I have forgotten what some others do on weekends. It was certainly an interesting weekend with all of the vomiting and diarrhea cleaning and sheet washing...and man-nannying...or man-maiding around the house.  However, weekends like this always give a fond perspective and heartfelt sense of appreciation for stay at home moms and dads.  All of this was precipitated by the fact that my two year old son Rivers decided that today was a good day to go full blown child maniac...the kind that makes Charlie Sheen say..."watch out for that kid...he's out there."  He was having one of those days where he would turn off the TV, look at you and give you the look of, "There. Your move dad." And then crap his pants, eat a chocolate, wipe his hands on the couch and knock your phone off the coffee table before going into the toy room and...I can only imagine this next part...laugh maniacally.  Although some of that may have been a fabrication...it seems remarkably real.

As my trip is now 4 days away...well almost three now that it is approaching the midnight hour, I realized that packing takes away much of the very few manly qualities that I currently have.  The weather in France and England is typically unpredictable in that you can always predict that it will be...well unpredictable. So trying on a dozen pairs of pants and umpteen sweaters of varying thickness and material is an interesting feeling...although it could have been a moment of reflection, solitude and time to ponder how majestic my trip will be...how glorious the Mona Lisa will look and how the smell of the varnish on those masterful Renaissance era paintings will be, how breathtaking the Palace of Versailles would be and it's history and the treaty signed there, the powerful leaders that took solace in that place, the Beaches of Normandy and the brave men that sacrificed their lives to bring freedom to all and to end the tyranny and sorrow of the Holocaust, how the fish and chips will taste, how gorgeous the London sky will be atop the London Eye...I instead had to remind my son not to zip himself into the suitcase...not to get hurt while trying to break dance on the floor and being bombarded by requests from my son to put on Sesame Street upstairs and from my daughter to put on Spongebob downstairs, to plug in her Kindle Fire and to fill up her cup with more Gatorade.  Luckily my lovely wife was there to help with some of the maid-esque duties required to take care of the two only members of royalty in our family...however, she didn't get home until 5...she works hard.  Her pedometer always reminds me of that. Although I justify her massive number of steps beyond what I take in a day due to her shorter legs...again, that is my justification to myself. 

On another note I did find some interesting information during this weekend like, there is a show on the National Geographic Channel called Diggers...it is about two guys (from Montana...and since they are the only two guys from Montana I have ever heard of I now think all Montanaians are weird) and they use their metal detectors to find glorious, "nectar" the word they use for a huge score in the ground of cash and prizes.  However, I also realized that everything they find is worth like $3. So, either they were never taught what money is, or Montana has it's own currency and the conversion is like $1 = $400,000 Montana Bucks. Unless that is a fact, I don't get it. And I didn't get it through the like...12 episodes that I watched. Wait...anyway, I have never found two people more excited to unearth pennies, belt buckles, old bullets and a horse shoe.  I can't wait for the next time I find a dime in the street, in my classroom or on the streets of Paris...watch out, I'll be jumping, pumping fists and dancing as if I was the third member of the band WHAM! circa 1985....or like Cousin Carlton on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air...circa 1995. Regardless, I guess what I'm saying is...well watch the show. You'll love it. I only really endorse things as often as Ron Swanson...if you didn't get that joke...watch Parks and Recreation. You will thank me.

Anyhow, I suppose it is time for bed. The morning will be here soon and it will be time to go to work and teach like it's my job. Oh, and I have an eye appointment tomorrow to get my new specs...I think with my glasses on more often, my love of cardigans and my salt and pepper hair I will look like an old Frenchmen in no time...I'll fit right in at a cafe...sitting alone...reading the paper and people watching.

Sickness, Weekends and Travel

 So this weekend is definitely one of the most interesting, busiest and quite frankly grossest weekends I have had in recent memory.  However, it does reaffirm the fact that I love my children in that, nothing will test a parents love for their children like a good bout of the flu in the  middle of the night.  Friday night seemed to go off without a hitch; children to bed at a "decent" time, relaxing and a little mindless TV to end a long and intense week of work. However, going to bed at 11:30 or 12 suddenly seems like a bad idea when your daughter comes into your room at 2:49 am (Yes, I checked my phone to see the time) to tell you that, "someone threw up in her bed." After a rather long conversation between my wife, Julie, and I regarding..."did Rivers sleep in her bed?  Did you check the bed to see if anyone threw up in it last night?" We quickly realized that Rylee had thrown up in her bed and either didn't realize that she had, or was worried that we would be upset and tried to lie about it. She is just too sweet...she didn't want to let us down or have us see her as being inconvenient.  So, my wife stripped the sheets and I changed the little girl that was clearly not feeling well. Julie had to get up early so she slept on the couch and me and the kids were in our bed. All was good in the world again...than 30 minutes later came. So did the vomit. On my pillow. I jumped out of bed at a speed that would make Usain Bolt jealous and grabbed the trash can from the downstairs bathroom...because apparently the upstairs one would have been too easy to find. After cleaning up our daughter again, cleaning up the bed and changing the pillow I let our daughter watch cartoons in bed and I grabbed a small child's princess sleeping blanket and a pillow and slept on the carpet in our room...and by "slept" I mean laid there for 4 hours and listened for our daughters gagging and would guide her to either the trash can or the bathroom. Oh, I didn't mention that it seems that my rotator cuff is torn in my left shoulder (awaiting MRI still) and laying on the floor was not a good idea...my arm is still in agonizing pain and falls asleep often. Regardless, my little princess has been in bed all day in between getting sick and taking full advantage of Daddy the Maid...however; when you see how cute they are (see pictures below) you can see why I am perfectly happy to wait on her hand and foot.


On another note, I now have only 5 days until I leave for my big 12 day trip to Europe.  Feeling pretty excited, yet always is a bittersweet feeling to be leaving my wife and kids for an extended period of time and this will be the longest trip I have ever taken.  Two years ago I went to Ireland and England for 9 days and it seemed like forever; however, this time it will be 12 days to France and England. Aside from missing the family I will say I am looking forward to the sights, sounds, smells and tastes of Europe.  France is going to be amazing; aside from the fact that the only things I can say in French translate to "toilet", "hello", "good-bye", "pig", "butt crack" ...oh and "yes" and "no". There are very few sentences I can put together with those words that wouldn't lead to me in the bathroom or hiring a plumber. However, going to see the beautiful palace of Versailles, and walking in the Hall of Mirrors is going to be awe-inspiring and seeing the Eiffel Tower will be surreal.  However, seeing the beaches of Normandy is going to be a chance of a lifetime.  I also suppose seeing the Mona Lisa in the Louvre in Paris will be an a-ok experience.  That Leonardo Da Vinci is quite good...one day he will be as talented as Leonardo DeCaprio. Every time I see Titanic I cry. "Don't let go Jack."

So after spending 4 days in Paris, we go to Normandy and St. Malo...lots of beautiful castles, churches and cafe's galore...we go to England. I have to say I am excited to go back. I speak the language...relatively well anyway, and we get to see Westminster Abbey, St. Paul's Cathedral, Canterbury, Windsor and take a ride up the London Eye...oh and we also get to take a Harry Potter tour (seeing where filming took place, etc).  The chance to revisit these places is something I never thought that I would do...so I am beyond ecstatic!

Oh, but because of this trip I should probably start packing, planning and making lists...checking them twice...to make sure I am ready for this trip. Packing for 12 days is not an easy feat I have decided. Two weeks worth of socks, undies, t-shirts and all of the clothes that accompany it is going to be daunting.  Not to mention the weather is a little unpredictable and makes it difficult to plan for...sweaters (of course)...hats? Coats? Gloves? Scarves? Umbrella? No idea. Not to mention all of the electronics required...phone, ipods, camera and all of the chargers...oh and the currency converter. With all of this in mind, it is time to get packing...or at least making a list. Or, if my son has his way...first we should play basketball.